


A Little Less Green

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Babysitting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Sterek Week 2015, Wendsday Box Of Crayons, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5099927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since moving to the suburbs the Stilinski-Hales have become the unofficial neighborhood babysitters, it's fine with them, they love the kids and they're good with them, the problem is that Stiles is always the one keeping them in line, and when he gets sick, Derek is left with a household of children and zero ability to control them</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Less Green

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I cheated a little because crayons aren't actually featured technically but I wasn't sure what else to do and I really wanted to do this fic so... there you go

Since moving to the suburbs the Stilinski-Hales have become unofficial neighborhood babysitters

Even before they adopted the twins they somehow were consistently saddled with watching the neighborhood rugrats

This wasn't a bad thing, in fact Stiles always said it was great as it was in preparation for their own kids

Derek couldn't argue with that and he liked having kids around anyway, he always had liked kids- after all why else would he be painting a nursery when he and Stiles had been scarcely married for six months?

And to their credit, most of the kids in the neighborhood were pretty great, and since adopting the twins their regular babysitties were even more well behaved

It sort of only took one time of disturbing sensitive baby werewolf ears and being screeched at for two hours before they learned that "Be a little quieter or you'll wake the babies" was advice better heeded than not

That being said, there were a couple of hellions that only Stiles could manage to control

Derek had no idea HOW considering everyone else consistently failed but he does remember one time when one of the kids called him a loser and he distinctly heard the words "snap your neck like a twig" sneer out of Stiles' mouth...

He had been in the kitchen at the time and actively decided not to go charging in and making things worse

Incidentally they never saw that one around again...

Regardless, despite the relative good behaviour of the kids, they were still kids, they still got into everything they could, made noise, begged and argued and did everything in their power to remind the adults who exactly is in charge: Namely the kids

The point is that Stiles was always better with actually watching the kids

Derek is a pushover and he knows that (the fact that he owns up to it has to count for brownie points somewhere he would think)

Stiles may look like a pushover but some pretty serious puppy eyes have to be going on for him to consider giving in (it was for this reason that Stiles had been in charge of house breaking the puppy- somehow he still failed)

They were comfortable with this system more or less

When Stiles was babysitting Derek took care of house chores and ... well... pretty much everything else, in return he didn't have to be put in the position of falling to the will of a four-year-old

This was a great system and Stiles reasoned that by the time their own kids reached the age where they started learning manipulation he will have trained Derek to flex that spine of his when kids were involved

Neither of them were quite counting on this...

"Stiles, you can't be around the kids like this, they'll catch whatever you have," Derek sighed

"I know, but I can't leave you alone with those little- ... little-..." **ACHOO!**

Derek winced and rubbed his hand soothingly across Stiles' back as he groaned in misery

"Look, Melissa said this was just a twenty-four hour bug, you'll be better in no time, but it's best not to risk getting anyone sick don't you think?"

Derek was never more glad than he was now for werewolf immunity- not for himself, but for Gwen and Fae- their twins, not only would there be a pretty strong chance that they would catch whatever Stiles had, but they would both know that Stiles would have to keep absolutely completely away from them until he was entirely germ free and that was a moment in his life that Derek was expressly glad he would never have to experience

They were both extremely attached and head over heels in love with the babies ofcourse but Stiles could barely keep his hands off of them

Derek was pretty sure that somewhere down the line a werewolf gene had snuck into Stiles' DNA at this point, he had never heard that sparks were this tactile but Stiles very well rivaled Laura and she had been the most handsy person he ever knew

From stroking their hair to pinching their little feet to carrying them around, Stiles was hard pressed to spend a single moment that the kids were awake without having his hands on them

Derek teasingly told him that they were going to grow up with no ability to be alone and Stiles- with the most serious expression he had seen since they picked up the twins- had turned to him and merely said one word- "Good,"

That had been the end of that

Derek was just as eager to hold and play with the babies but Stiles was bordering on obsessive, they could barely have five minutes in the playpin before Stiles was swooping in and picking them up

The only time he actually left them alone was when they were sleeping and Derek supposed that it only took one time of accidentally waking up twin werewolves before Stiles realized the importance of not disturbing sleeping infants

Reasonably Derek knew that Stiles wasn't capable of being around the babies right now no matter how badly he wanted to be, but the thought of actually banning him from their presence was a type of torture that Derek couldn't imagine distributing

"I can't... leave you with those heathens.... they'll eat you alive," Stiles grumbled, twisting around in the sheets as he tried to turn towards Derek

He wasn't doing that well with it

"Stiles they're just children, besides I don't think you'll be of any help right now," Derek tried to reason with him

Stiles looked like he was very seriously about to protest but suddenly lerched upwards and started gagging, wich made Derek cringe

He wanted nothing more than to stay here and take care of Stiles but the neighborhood had this terrible idea that the Stilinski-Hales were the designated emergency sitters and they had gotten a call yesterday morning before the 24-hour bug struck that some sort of school function was happening today and several of the younger kids were needing to be watched wile the older kids and the parents attended whatever it was

Stiles had agreed because he thought they'd just be having a lazy Saturday at home and hadn't anticipated this at all....

Now they were rather stuck

Or to be exact, DEREK was rather stuck

But it was ok

It was just a few kids

How bad could it be?

~+~

Derek could say with absolute confidence that, two hours later, the day was going pretty well

Considering that he thought "pretty well" meant no one had to call the cops or go to the hospital yet

It was like the kids had sniffed out that he was the weak link in this household and were pooling their efforts for his destruction

Six kids- not including his own- were currently wreaking havoc on the downstairs as an entirety

The two oldest boys were chasing eachother around relentlessly and nocking over anything and everything even mildly in their path, the two youngest girls had kidnapped the dog and were trying to force her into what Derek could only describe as "a beauty parlor from hell", and the two middle kids were alternating between arguing about a video game and begging Derek to feed them

Ofcourse every single time he started to make lunch the boys got into something

He was already going to have to clean spray paint off the walls later (where did they even GET spray paint? Derek is 99.9% certain that it wasn't from his house)

He really didn't need to add more work to this rediculous tally he was racking up

And then, right as Derek had gotten the peanut butter and jelly mixed (a miracle all on it's own) came the ear peircing screech of a child in agony

He absolutely dropped the butter spreader and ran into the living room, heart pounding and head swelling with the worst possible circumstances

There was the youngest of the girls, sitting against the coffee table, wailing like a banshee (and Derek would know...)

"Ellie! Ellie what's wrong!?" he shouted anxiously as he slid to the ground to pick her up

"Grant pushed me and called me a loser!" she screamed, crying with full force in a mixture of tears and snot and a face so red that she looked like the victim of a severe sun burn

Derek's first instinct was to quiet her as quickly as possible

It was a miracle to begin with that the twins had slept this long but Ellie's screaming was sure to wake them if nothing else did

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sure Grant is going to apologize for that _right now_ , isn't he?" he said sternly, glaring daggers at the oldest boy

"I didn't push her! She fell! And 'sides she IS a loser! She's SEVEN and watching Dora The Explorer, that's a baby show!"

"Is not!" Ellie screeched, wrapping herself around Derek like a koala

"Ellie you aren't hurt are you?" he asked worriedly

"Uh-huh I hit my head! Are you gonna kiss it better?" she asked with a pout

"Ofcourse," he smiled, gently kissing the top of her head and petting her hair for good measure

So he sucked in the discipline department, kiss-it-betters he could do

"Grant, apologize to Ellie, you weren't very nic-"

"MR. HALE!!"

Derek cringed, turning and staring at the little girl running up to him

"Marissa, I'm in the middle of-"

"DJ broke the controller!!!"

**"WHAT?"**

"Nuh-uh! Marissa did it!"

"I did not!"

"Wait wait wait... wich controller?" he asked slowly

"OW!! Mr. Derek Grant pinched me!"

"No I didn't liar!"

"Yes you did LIAR!"

Derek groaned

What had he gotten himself in-

All of a sudden, a loud, shreiking, wail echoed through the house and Derek's stomach dropped

Those would be the babies...

"Ok, everyone stay put, don't touch ANYTHING, I'll be right back!" he insisted, sprinting towards the stairs and racing up them as fast as he could so he could get to the nursery before the babies woke up Stiles

The poor thing only had releif when he was sleeping and he was sicker than a dog...

Ofcourse, the moment he got to the nursery though, there he found Stiles, a baby in each arm and looking like death warmed over

"I'm sorry," Derek breathed instinctively

"Don't be, I tried to warn you," Stiles mumbled back, taking a few steps closer and handing one of their daughters- Fae, if the onesie was anything to say for it (he still couldn't QUITE tell them apart yet but to his credit they had only been there for.... three months.... ok that was pretty bad...)

"But it isn't fair, you're sick, you need to rest," he insisted, bouncing Fae soothingly in one arm and reaching out for Gwen with the other, but Stiles turned away from him as if he was about to get shot, baby hoisted over his shoulder and a pout present on his face

"Excuse you sticky fingers, I have not held my babies all day and I'm about to-" he paused, turning to cough (more like hack a lung) into his arm and making a disgusted sound when he pulled away

"Oh God I think I swallowed mucus..." he grumbled

"And THAT is why you haven't held the babies, now give her to me, these are my babies too Stiles," Derek huffed, making a grabbing motion with his free hand

Stiles stared at him for a moment before cracking a smile and starting to laugh- hoarse and thin, but it was a laugh all the same

"Wow,"

"What?"

"Nothing just... God.. I never thought I'd be standing here fighting with Derek Hale over who got to hold _our_ babies, this is a little bit insane,"

"It is," Derek agreed, stepping forward and cupping Stiles' cheek, smiling when he leaned into the touch and nuzzled against Derek's palm, the heat was probably a releif if the cold sweat broken out all over his skin was anything to go by

Sadly Derek didn't have plans to soothe Stiles right now and used the distraction to pluck Gwen out of his husband's arms

"Oh my God you dirty traitor gimme me back my baby!"

"She's mine too, and you're SICK, even if she can't catch it I still don't think you should be covering her in germs," he reasoned

With a reluctant sigh Stiles gave up, shoulders slumping sadly

"Sorry," Derek said sympathetically, kissing both babies on their heads before setting them back in their cribs

Luckily it had only taken a few minutes of time with their daddies to soothe them into going back to sleep, it wasn't always that easy but Derek was always relieved when it was

"Now that the big crisis is averted... what's all that screaming I heard downstairs?" Stiles asked, sniffling and wiping the sleeve of his robe across his nose

Derek struggled not to make a face and sighed

"I'm terrible at this, I can't get these kids to do anything and I think one of them broke a video game controller,"

Stiles nodded slowly, rubbing his eyes and waving his hand in a gesture for Derek to follow him

"You're not going down there," he frowned

"I'll just be a minute,"

"No, Stiles, I don't need you to get sicker by exhausting yourself, and I need to learn to do this myself," he insisted

Stiles was quiet for a moment, cocking his head to the side

"Babe, have you ever actually watched me handle these kids?"

Derek thought about that for a moment

"Um....no....."

"Mmm... c'mon, let me demonstrate,"

"Stiles..." he sighed

"Yes baby boy?" he smirked

Derek bit his lip

Stiles knew exactly what that did to him....

"Lead the way," he grumbled

Stiles smirked, robe bellowing like a cape as he walked down the hall and unlocked the baby gate- something they had installed long before they were even looking into adoption agencies due to the dog's ability to sneak away at all times of day and destroy random parts of the house

Derek followed him, securing the gate behind him and watching as Stiles marched into the living room with purpose, looking like a hurricane of discipline and mild agitation

"Alright, first things first, who broke the controller?" he demanded

Every kid in the room looked up and Derek could swear they looked like their lives were flashing before their eyes

"DJ!" Marissa immediately pointed out

The boy looked like he had just been turned over as a murder suspect

"I did not!"

"D, bring it here," Stiles demanded

Derek instinctively made a move towards the TV but Stiles just restrained a laugh and held his arm out to stop him

"Not you babe," he snickered, nodding towards the little boy, who looked rather sheepish as he slowly retrieved the controller and gave it to Stiles, who examined it and clicked his tongue

"It's not broken, the Ethernet cable just came out, easy squeezie lemon peasie, but you must have yanked on it pretty hard for it to do that so you need to cool your jets before it really DOES break and I make you buy me a new one, got it?"

DJ nodded shamefully and Stiles handed the controller back, patting him on the head

"Go put it back and I'll reattach it in a minute, what other crisis do we have down here?"

"Grant pushed me," Ellie sniffled again

"Aw I'm sorry booboo," Stiles cooed, getting down on his nees and smiling sadly at the little girl

"I'd kiss it better but I'm all sickies right now and I don't want to get you germy," he explained

"S'ok... Mr. Derek kissed it better,"

"Really?" he beamed, looking up at Derek and giving him a thumb's up

"Way to go Big Guy," he smiled, coughing suddenly and groaning in agony

"Thanks, but you need to get back to bed," Derek frowned, reaching out and gently helping Stiles to his feet again

Stiles batted his hands away, shaking his head insistingly

"Mm nope, no, hang on, Grant, did you apologize?" he frowned

Grant made a face that looked atleast somewhat guilty and Stiles went rigid again

"Grant Montgomery, apologize to Ellie right now or I'm going to tell your parents exactly what happened and you can probably kiss that new nintendo goodbye," he threatened in an icey cold voice

Derek felt his mouth drop open and Grant hurriedly apologized to Ellie in a fairly sincere and overly enthusiastic way

"Good, now I want all of you to sit down and color, I'm bringing crayons and papper, Mr. Derek is TRYING to be nice and feed you guys but if you keep interrupting him that isn't going to happen, now who wants to eat and who wants to complain about it?"

The kids were silent and Stiles smirked

"Exactly, now everybody behave or I swear, I WILL tell your parents, just sit tight and wait for me to get the crayons,"

The second Stiles turned around Derek had come up behind him, staring at him in awe

"Teach me your ways,"

Stiles laughed hoarsely, placing a hand on his back and grinning

"Soon grasshopper, soon, but first... help me upstairs before I puke on ya',"

Derek sighed, shaking his head

"Yes Sir,"

"Ohh say that again but slower,"

"I'll tell you what, when your complexion returns to something other than green I will,"


End file.
